September 26, 2010

Show Boudreaux some ID

  It’s the middle of the afternoon on a hot summer day. There are no customers in the small country store when a bandit points to a bulge under his tee-shirt and says to the store’s clerk, “I’ve got a gun, give it up and nobody gets hurt.”
  Boudreaux hands over $17 which cleans out the cash register. “Is that all you got?” asks the bandit.
  “We never keep much in the register, sir,” Boudreaux answers, almost apologetically.
  The bandit sees a bottle of wine on a shelf behind the clerk. “Gimme that!” he demands.
  “Sorry, sir, I can’t do that, the law says you’ve gotta be 21 before you can buy alcoholic beverages.”
  The bandit snaps back, “The law says I’m not supposed to hold up your store either, but I’m doing it. Just gimme the dang bottle, you old twerp!”
  Nervously, Boudreaux says, “Sir, you don’t look 21 years old to me. Before I can turn this bottle over to you, I’ll need to see some ID or I could get in big trouble.”
  The bandit is obviously frustrated. He puts the gun down on the counter right in front of Boudreaux as he nervously fingers through his wallet for a driver’s license.
  “By golly, you’re right,” says Boudreaux. According to your driver’s license you’re 22 years old. Would you like a bag for that?”
  The bandit snatches the bottle out of Boudreaux’s hands and quickly leaves the store. You can write the end of this story yourself. But when you write your ending, remember, whether the holdup guy had a gun under his shirt or not makes no difference. The “threat of violence” is enough to make it “armed robbery.” That’ll get you seven to 10 years almost anywhere. There’s usually no “time off” for stupidity.

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