August 15, 2010

Launching Eddy

  Eddy is having a party on the rear deck of his home up in the foothills. There’s dip and chips, grilled hamburgers, hotdogs, and kegs of beer.
  One of the party boys spots a raccoon rambling in the back yard and decides to use the critter for target practice. Other party boys join in the fun and within a few minutes they fire nearly 50 rounds of pistol ammo, all with the express purpose of shooting this small, hapless critter.
  Somehow, though, the raccoon manages to flee into a three-foot-wide drainage pipe at the back of the property. The situation becomes a challenge to Eddy, the host and owner of the property.
  Eddy vaults over the deck railing into the back yard and heads for the drainage pipe. Did I mention that he makes a brief stop at the tool shed to pick up a plastic jug of gasoline?   He plans to force the critter out of the drainage pipe so his friends can have “fair shots” at the furry little guy.
  He pours most of the gasoline down the drainage pipe. While trying to flick his lighter, Eddy slips on the gasoline- soaked pipe and slides feet-first down the inside of the tube. You guessed it — now the lighter decides to light.
  An instant later Eddy comes sailing out of the drainage pipe much like a Polaris missile launched from a nuclear submarine.
  Three dozen guests gaze in awe as a fireball hurtles over the back yard and makes an awkward landing in the grass near the deck where the guests are assembled.
  Eddy’s wounds are amazingly minor. He’s got a few second degree burns, a couple of cuts and bruises, but no broken bones. After Eddy has a few minutes to recover from his impromptu flight he says he’d do it again if he knew he wouldn’t break his neck. He’s exhilarated.
  Eddy’s adventure provided enough cover for the raccoon to make good his escape. You can be sure the small creature knows better than to ever come back onto Eddy’s property.

No comments:

Post a Comment