July 18, 2010

Rookie deputy locked up

  It’s early spring and still a bit wintry in the mountain country of Kentucky when Deputy Provence makes a serious mistake.
  Fresh out of the police academy, Provence is checking out the jail where he hopes to lock up lots of bad guys. The deputy even checks out the view from inside the cell. That turns out to be a serious mistake.
  While handling the steel door, the deputy swings a bit too hard and the cell door slams shut. WHAM! Sadly, Deputy Provence is on the inside of that cell.
  This couldn’t have happened at a worse time. This is the weekend of the High Sheriff’s grand public viewing of the newly constructed $12.4 million judicial center, including the refurbished detention center.
  Deputy Provence is sweating bullets trying to figure out how to get out of jail. Of course, that’s the same thought millions of inmates before him have pondered.
  There is no graceful way for Provence to extricate himself from the jail cell. He could try screaming bloody murder hoping somebody with a cell door key might hear him.
  The thought of other deputies knowing about his embarrasing plight is more than the deputy can stand. He must get out now! But how? The rookie deputy takes his brand spanking new Glock 9 mm pistol and aims it at the cell door keyhole.
  Provence realizes, almost instantly, that he’s lucky he isn’t shot by a ricochet from his own gun. The cell lock is left with only a scratch. The frightened deputy holsters his weapon.
  The sound of the gunshot alerts officers from the jail staff who notify the sheriff who insists on unlocking the jail cell himself. That moment is the end of Deputy Provence’s career in law enforcement.
  No charges are filed on the condition that Provence pays for a paint-over of the scratch marks left by the bouncing bullet.

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