October 17, 2010

Sports car in the bayou

  A Lufkin, Texas, man drove his very expensive luxury sports car into a salt marsh near Galveston. We’re all familiar with the qualities of salt water on the undercarriage of automobiles — no matter how expensive the car may be.
  Speaking of expensive cars, I think we should put our story on pause for a moment while we consider this particular vehicle.
  It’s a French-built Bugatti Veyron Super Sport — the world’s fastest production car, valued at more than $1 million. The Bugatti Veyron Super Sport is capable of driving at a top speed of 267.8 miles per hour, although few drivers will achieve that speed because race tracks are not long enough for the cars to build up to top speed.
  At the speed of 267.8 miles per hour the driver will have difficulty breathing. The scenery will be little more than a blur. The Bugatti Veyron approaches the speed of Shanghai’s Maglev train and the TGV train to Paris.
  Okay, let’s get back to the guy from Lufkin, a Cowboy with mega-bucks who can afford such a classy set of wheels. The Cowboy tells La Margue, TX, cops that he was driving along when a low-flying pelican distracted him. He veered off the road and drove into the salt marsh.
  The cops investigated the Cowboy’s story after they towed the half-submerged car out of the marsh about 20 feet off the road. But when they inventoried the Veyron they found a cell phone on the floorboard. The qwerty keyboard was extended, so the cops subpoenaed the cell phone provider whose records revealed the Cowboy was “text messaging” at the time of the accident.
  Confronted with that information, the Cowboy confesses, “I dropped my cell phone when the pelican swooped down in front of me. I was fishing for my cellphone on the floorboards and lost control of my car.”
  Guess the Cowboy has figured out that pelicans and text messaging are not compatible while driving — even in a $1 million super sports car.

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